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Monday, April 19, 2010

Oh Tummy Why Do You Persist To Keep Me From Sleeping

My sweet friends it is 4 am in the morning. I cannot sleep. My tummy went from stabbing pains, to nauseous, to now just feeling like something is inside of it rolling around. These feelings are sometimes so hard to explain! It feels terrible! I started getting a headache. Sweet Andrew is staying over tonight. He set me up on the recliner so my chest wouldn't hurt from sleeping in the bed. He is playing his video game. He is used to staying up, but I believe he is staying up because he is worried about me. I feel so bad because I lose my temper with him so easily. It's not that I mean to...it's just so hard at times for me and it's so hard for others to understand everything that I'm feeling physically. It's also so hard for me to convey to those I love how much I need them right now.

These treatments are so hard on my body physically. We have been wiping everything down with Clorox today because Addison came home with a cold today. As you all know my immune system is gone with these treatments. As I have said before so so similar to chemo only difference is I don't lose my hair. My hair has however thinned and has thin thin patches from the Crohn's itself.

Pulling my strength and happiness 1-from my Lord and Savior! Nothing describes it better than a song I used to lead at worship when I was the singer of the youth praise band. The song was entitled "Jesus Lover of My Soul" goes to follow with "...Jesus I will never let You go...You've taken me from the miry clay...set my feet upon the rock and now I know. I love you...I need you...though my world will fall I'll never let You go. My Savior, My Precious Friend, I will follow you until the very end." It repeats itself over and over again. 2-from my family 3-from my sweetheart 4-from you my sweet dear friends and 5-this Take Steps event!

Although Crohn's is no fun I have gained a passion for it! I guess that is with anybody. When you go through something in life that is a hardship you learn to trust in Christ more. You gain strength and determination to battle the obstacle...and with each day you fight you gain a passion for the cause.

Ok...so I'm finished. I did however finally get to take a picture of what my tummy should and does look like before it blows up. How funny is this...I took this picture...walked into the den and as soon as I sat down it started hurting and started swelling. This is just a picture to show you the difference. It's so funny because I can't wear shirts that are snug because they will be fine and 5 seconds later I have a belly popping out!

Don't look if you don't want to see my belly...I however think it's fascinating and I told you...this is Allison's story and she wants you to know everything...the truth about this disease....






This is what my abdomen should look like and is
before the Crohn's does its attack job...
no bathing suits for me anymore...because...
tada....look down




I posted these the other day, but
I didn't have a picture to compare to...
Now I finally was able to get one
Something to key in on...you know with Crohn's
it's a lot of inflammation...you can actually
see the veins bulged in the abdomen...they call
this adjective "vascular"




Another abdomen shot...it's unreal
My mom had to help rub out some bad
parts in my tummy today to try to help me
and she couldn't believe that my stomach
was actually spasming against her as she rubbed
I mean it when it says it has a mind of it's own




5 comments:

  1. Aww...Thank-you for your sweet comment. It's almost calming to know that I am not fighting this horrible disease alone and other people really know what it's like to go through something so awful...however, I wish neither one of us had to face crohns, period.

    I was up every hour last night with stabbing pains,too. I am trying so hard to ween myself off of narcotics so that I can actually function during the day. Last night I didn't take anything except for my HyoMax. I have never taken HyoMax alone; I've always taken it with another pain medicine. I was just wondering if Hyomax has caused you to cramp even more? Has anything else worked for your cramps, other than a narcotic pain reliever? If you want you can send me an email instead of sending another comment. Kelly.forbes@maconstate.edu
    Thanks, Kelly :)

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  2. Oh I don't mind posting on here...it just lets other people in on our world which is a good thing. I actually take no more PO (oral) meds anymore except for my PRNs (pain and nausea). I did take Hyomax and Hycosamine in between when the cramps were worse, but they weren't that useful. I usually just stick with my darvocet. My doctor calls me a martyr however because he says there is no need in me being in pain all the time, but I get tired of taking pills. My pains now are more of stabbing crazy feeling then cramps. When they are more cramp feeling I do take the Hycosamine. Only thing about Hyomax and Hycosamine is that they are not necessarily a pain medication...they just relieve the spasms and clampings of the intestines. Blahblah...thats all I hear when they explain all this stuff now. I don't know if you read, but my case is almost untreatable...we are waiting to see if they Remicade is going to work because I have shown no signs of success with everything else. I feel your pain and as you said...it's so much comfort to have a sister in Christ that is going through the same thing! Just out of curiosity I was wondering since your case is bad as well do you also have a mediport for your infusions and hospitilizations?
    Thanks and good luck with your pains - Alli

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  3. Wow, I admire your strength and attitude even though you are obviously in a lot of discomfort to put it lightly, you still make a girl smile! My prayers are with you.

    Yours in Health, Robin

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  4. Thank you! Keep the prayers coming! :)

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  5. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I have Endometriosis and deal with the unreal abdomen swelling and terrible pain. Its so painful to go from a flat belly to a super swollen belly in a matter of minutes.
    I don't have Crohn's, but I have an idea of what you go through. I have a friend that has it and they now think my sister in law has it. It's so rough on the body. Keeping you in my prayers. :)

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