April 29, 2010 was my check up appointment with Dr. Rider. My sweet Andrew drove me down to Mobile and went with me to my appointment. Well I will make this short. He asked how I had been doing...told him my rectum was still bleeding with bowel movements and still having some pain. As far as the Disease all together I had been feeling terrible and was getting NO SLEEP! That is not his job to control my Crohn's but he is so kind he always makes sure to ask. Well he then took me to the exam room and Andrew stayed behind. Yet again I feel the pain as the evil pediatric anascope is inserted up my rectum...yet again warm feeling and I know it's the light! Ok...so now for the result...INTERNAL FISSURE STILL THERE!!! HOWEVER! We are going to wait 4 more weeks before we do a surgery! He said the the fissure has shortened JUST A TID BIT! not much...he said that even though it was hardly a great change at least it was a change. He said that he just hated to do the surgery and inflict more trauma on the area. With all the surgeries in the past I think he is just trying to give me time. He did go to say that in 4 weeks if still there we would go ahead. He explained the procedure again. He could tell I wasn't feeling well at all and was trying to lift my spirits. He said "HEY...AT LEAST YOU ARE 500% BETTER!" I knew physically the way I was feeling I wasn't, but I knew he was referring to my rectum and anus. He always is so positive no matter what. Let me remind you...He is the precious doctor that was like...on a scale of 0-10 your Crohn's Disease's treatability is a 3! which was great! He later apologized and we laughed with me saying it was a 10 and him agreeing that it was a "bad case"! He then patted me on the back and tried to give me a smile.
He also checked my blood clots and said that indeed I had phlebitis. Phlebitis is just a simple term for inflammation of the veins. It causes them to have terrible pain and harden. He told me that I could go back to my one time a day baby aspirin...but right now I think my anemia is back so I will pass. Oh yes...like two days ago...I was taking a shower...the shampoo bottle dropped on the shower floor...IT DID NOT HIT ME WHEN IT FELL...it hit the shower floor then slowly rolled and rolled against my leg...NO LIE...my leg swole up...skin broke and it bled for about 10 minutes while I was in shower...talk about crazy! Yeah...so you can tell I'm weak and fragile...and anemic. So no aspirin for me.
Next...as for the the sleeping...he asked if I had some sleeping pills from back in December when I was having all the trouble with sleeping from the hospitals. I told him I did but the Ambien made me LITERALLY CRAZY! He said of course it does its a hypnotic...he then told me I needed to call my primary doctor and get on something, but in the mean time take the Ambien. With getting no sleep my disease gets more angry and I don't get any better...actually worse. So that night of the 29th...came home...Andrew convinced me to take the Ambien but told me to GO DIRECTLY TO BED...DON'T CALL ANYONE...DON'T CALL HIM! Well I did the first part...I got in bed and took it...well whoops I called him! I started seeing the fan light flash...and I thought I was at a disco party LOL! I don't remember much after but he said I started talking to people and over the phone he said Allison who are you talking to and I said MY FRIENDS! He said I would just laugh and starting talking crazy so he just hung up! WRONG THING TO DO! I couldn't remember his number knocked over the phone...I do remember this...knocked over a drink and somehow managed to call back...HE DIDN'T ANSWER! lol...Ambien was making me CRAZY MORE! So...forgot this part...I figured he was playing his PS3 online so I called my dear friends Martha and Ryan at 1 am! I was slurring my words Martha said...Ryan was laughing at me and I was like...Ask Ryan if Andrew is online and tell him to call me...she got him to check and he wasn't....ok...so that is the story. Everyone told me the next day of my insane-self! I felt terrible! Ryan and Martha found it amusing...Andrew just said he was scared lol! Needless to say I didn't take it the next night just because! Well I didn't get HARDLY ANY SLEEP!
Saturday we had a little yard sale...rain messed that up but we did raise $50! Praise God! Aunt Dana, Adriana, and Aunt Ang raised %430.00! How Awesome is God! They said half were just donations! They are awesome team members! All of that went to our team! Praise God! So Saturday and Sunday I took Ambien...I was a good girl and hid my phone and went to sleep...it helped a little...not much so I will just have to see Dr. Scoot sooner or later! I'm just trying to prevent going in a sick doctors office with my sweet little lowered immune system from the treatments!
I think I have a port flush and check this Thursday! Whoop Whoop! Next treatment = Third Treatment is May 27 I think! June 1 - last day to turn in money for our team to count towards "Grand Marshall's"! June 5 - Take Steps!!!!! We found a hotel like 4 miles from park and it has indoor pool! I can't wait...I have been so embarrassed to go to a public pool where everyone is because my stomach swelling and my port so it will be nice to sneak in a pool with not a lot of people!!!!
Tonight I got sad. I couldn't really eat today. My family was fixing supper...the smell made me nauseous! I felt so mean. I knew they thought I was, but I can't eat when certain things when my tummy tells me not to. I know most of you don't understand...but with this disease it's like your stomach is your brain. It will literally let you know what you are in the mood for and not. If you eat something it tells you its not in the mood for you will be SORRY! I started crying and apologized trying to explain and they were so sweet...they kept telling me they would make anything, but my tummy was being so rude!!!! See with my Crohn's its not that I have a list of what I CAN EAT OR CAN'T EAT! I can eat salads, nuts, seeds...anything I want literally! BUTTTTT AT CERTAIN TIMES...MY TUMMY WILL SAY NO! It's not that I have to watch what I eat...I just have to listen to my tummy and then I watch what I eat. I can't explain it! It will either give me a certain taste in my mouth or a certain smell! Like I said before...I tell my story because with my Crohn's I'M A RARITY! I think in Mobile...I have probably been diagnosed as one of the top worst cases! No lie! They always tell me I'm just a bad and rare case!!!
As for other things...I'm finding out who my true friends are and who aren't. Lessons you don't want to learn, but you thank God for opening your eyes even though you don't want them to be!