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Sunday, December 18, 2016

"The Storm Before the Calm"

Ok, so most of you know that is was impossible for Andrew and I to conceive. So let me begin to lay things out.... you all know I have 3 diseases (Fistulizing Crohn's Disease, Fibromyalgia, and Dysautonomia), with the many symptoms that come with my diseases, I have not been regular in over a year and a half - and before then it was 2 years! I've been on treatments for 6 years, so physically there have been so many things working against me, when it comes to my reproductive system. The plan was to have a hysterectomy in just a few years, after I turned 30! After my treatment (not this one but the one before) I continued to get sick even after taking my nausea medicine, I would take it and it just wouldn't work. So I tried thinking out of the box and decided to try dramamine. Well thank the Lord because it worked! Between the doctors, Andrew & I, and everyone else, we knew that children were out of the question due to it being impossible, and me not wanting to take a chance of passing on my genes in anyway. So I felt that when I reached Heaven, God would reward me with all the unwanted children and I would be a Mother one day, just not my days on earth. I would get sad at times, but I wanted to trust in God and be happy with my situation in life. I wanted to glorify Him in this life, whether blessings or tribulations. So there were ways I got myself through it when I got sad, like all my nieces and nephews! Andrew and I said we were going to be the cool aunt and uncle, and be there in anyway we could for all of them. Yet again however, we as Christians wanted to accept our situation!

Did it hurt us secretly? Of course! What woman doesn't want to be a mother? Andrew never showed that it hurt him, but I not only hurt for myself, I hurt for him. I hurt that we couldn't have a child to pass on the Hope generation from his line. That we wouldn't get to experience our love grow deeper because we had not only our love but the shared love for our very own child! I will say it again though, even with all of this, it was important we accept that this was not part of our story the Lord had already written for us, so we accepted this and our life and were going to be happy with all the blessings the Lord had and has given us!

I continued to have overwhelming nausea and something in my gut went this is not nausea from my treatment! Something in me went there is no way, but I went to the store with Andrew and we got a test just because I always like to be sure of something and rule out things. It was October 26, and I came home and took the test and waited. Before this now, I used to joke with people when they said we should have a child and I told them "The ONLY way we would EVER be able to have one is if it was GOD ORDAINED and a MIRACLE from Him to show HE IS GOD!"

Well, I sat for 3 hours thinking about EVERYTHING! Our lives were changed, because little did I know that by accepting and being happy with where I was in life, God had ORDAINED and PLANNED for this child for years, while I thought of how I couldn't have a child for years! I was in such shock, that after the first test, I took 3 more tests. I had so may fears going through my head and immediately went to the internet to  check things and medicines and make sure women could take treatments! I was thinking me being pregnant was going to come with so many negatives, because I was in shock! After reading things, making an appointment and reading more, I realized so many mothers in my situation had done this and had a HEALTHY baby! I had fears of what would people think? Then I would come back and go, if people think ill of this situation instead of seeing that GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD, then I don't care for their opinion! We laid out all the things that worked against this, and literally speaking on a physical medical view point, this was IMPOSSIBLE! I used my nursing and came up with that I was around 6 weeks. Well I made my appointment with Dr. Morrison-Barton, and it was for that next week!

On Thursday, October 3 - Mom, Andrew, and I went to Dr. Barton's office, and we had our first ultrasound to confirm that indeed a MIRACLE had happened! My nurse couldn't even say congrats at first because she KNEW THERE WAS NO EARTHLY way this could happen, but once the ultrasound confirmed I was 7 weeks and 5 days, as I walked out she looked like she was in shock and said Congrats! If my nurses and doctors couldn't believe it, that speaks for itself!

7 weeks 5 days

Now back when I first took the test and was scared to death. One of the things that I was worried about was telling my family, I knew with my health the first thing they were going to do is be scared and have questions!? would I be ok? would the baby!? So telling my Mom and Dad was hard for me! The day I found out I told Andrew 3 hours after thinking, then the next day I had to get Mom to guess it because I couldn't say the words. It took her 3 days to process and me read her all the things I had researched showing this had been done many times. After 3 days of her and I processing together we told Dad and that was hard, Mom had to say it. Both times when I told them I could see their worry, and they had to go to the bedroom for a cry. After that though, we all talked and kept going this IS GOD! THIS IS A MIRACLE, AND THAT THROUGH THIS GOD WOULD BRING MY HEALING, AND WE IN OUR FAITH CLAIMED THAT!

Again I would go to the Lord for strength because only He could do this!  On the ultrasound we even found ANOTHER miracle! One of my ovaries was finished, so one more thing that made this impossible situation prove JUST HOW GREAT GOD IS! Once the ultrasound showed everything was great, we told our immediate family, friends who are family. At about 12 weeks we told our church, at 13 weeks told our Singspiration family - since these are part of our Methodist churches and have prayed over me, my family, and all our situations. So I felt that they deserved to hear of our God's GREATNESS! I had planned to announce this week but with my treatment being a day late, I wasn't really in a state to write everything out and explain! We wanted to make it to at least the second trimester before we made it public.

So again the reason I can say I'm 14 weeks 1 day pregnant, the reason I can say it was impossible, is so that I can point to Christ on the cross and say God looks at the  impossible, He takes it, fixes it, and makes it possible! So I lie here humbled, feeling better than I ever have, believing that God gave me this child, and through this miracle I will be healed! I'm believing!!! The baby is doing great, my high risk ob is Dr. Baker, and my high risk delivery ob is Dr. Varner (who I think is absolutely an incredible man of God) - both doctors are GOD SENDS!

3D view above baby - 10 weeks 3 days
 3D view above baby with hands over eyes - 10 weeks 3 days
 2D side view with feet and hands moving - 10 weeks 3 days
2D side view hand over nose - 10 weeks 3 days

Now, on to medicines, my treatments will continue and will NOT affect the baby, BUT we will stop them around 32 weeks! Then as soon as the baby is born, they will have the treatment ready so that I can immediately take the treatment after I recover from the delivery. The date of arrival was June 17th, but more than likely the baby will come sometime in late May - we really are just monitoring and watching the baby, and will play everything by ear. I am having biweekly appointments since I'm high risk, so I will see both of my high risks each month, and they will both keep an eye on my little one.

I truly want to THANK YOU ALL for all you have done for my family and I throughout these years. The past 6 years have been hard, but whenever a rainbow such a this comes, you look back and see that God had everything under control...we just can't see it, because we only see the situation we are in, while God can see everything from the beginning of our life to the end of our life. He knows when the trials and tribulations will stop, and when a rainbow will come to bring hope and light, and it's always in HIS PERFECT TIMING! So again, for the prayers, calls, messages throughout these years, I am so blessed to live in Alabama, with so many amazing people as you all! Without your love and prayers I know I would not be where I am today! Thank you for being faithful to Christ and for always remembering me and my family in prayer! We ask that you claim this healing with us through our child, and ask that you please pray over the baby and I so that everything will go smoothly!!

To my Creator,  my child's Creator, we give HIM ALL GLORY AND HONOR AND PRAISES TO HIS NAME!

Love you all!

The Hopes

October 26,2016 - Positive Test
November 3, 2016 - First Ultrasound with Dr. Morrison-Barton
November 22, 2016 - First Ultrasound with Dr. Baker (High Risk)
December 7, 2016 - First appointment with Dr. Varner (High Risk Delivery)

**********My next appointment is on the 20th to see Dr. Baker again!

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